Dear Body, I Am Still Learning.
My thighs, I am sorry when you rubbed the other day I cringed for a second. I know all the places you have carried me and I am so thankful, I am still learning.
Dear stomach, I am sorry I felt for so many years you betrayed me by not being “flat” or smooth. You carried my babies and that was the ultimate gift. I am sorry I didn’t see it that way for so long, I am still learning.
Dear Breasts, I am so sorry for comparing you to a time that once was and looking at you with disappointment that you stretched, sagged, you changed, I am still learning.
To my arms, I am sorry I tried to hide you, that I was embarrassed by you that I didn’t see your worth and all the things you allow me to do, the babies to hold, the loves to hug. I am still learning.
To my body, I am sorry for the ways I tried to change you, that I spoke to you in constant disappointment, that I told you that you let me down for years, that I placed every ounce of my value in you and blamed you for my unhappiness in seasons.
I spoke unkindness, judgement, everything I could at you.
i am sorry that for so long my worth was tied up directly in your size. That I didn’t honour your seasons and all you were doing. I made jokes about you, I covered you up, I was embarrassed of you.
I am so sorry, I am still learning.
I breathe in gratitude for you and all that you are and I breathe out an apology for the ways I have spoken to you and treated you. I am learning love, acceptance, that it was never about you all along. That it was me that needed to heal you were never the issue.
I am still learning. xo. M.